“Sex is for adults, you’ll get pregnant or catch an STD, you’re too young to know about this stuff”

Sound Familiar?

Many of us received the all too common one-sided “talk.” You know, “The Talk” the one that can be the most dreaded, potentially most awkward conversation you will ever have with your children. Most of us probably gained some great information about the consequences of having sex, but were probably never given any tools to make our own decisions about our sexual wellness from that “Talk.” The approach many of our parents took also didn’t create any room to comfortably ask questions about the matter.

Sex education basics may be covered in health class, but your youth might not fully understand everything they need to know to make tough choices about sex.

That’s where you come in.

As awkward as it may be, sex education means more when the information comes from a parent or another trusted adult. Here are some tips to help prepare you for the topic and ensure that you are providing your youth with tools for lifetime of healthy sexuality.

#1 Talk Early and Often.

We tend to think about “The Talk” as a one-time conversation that’s as awkward for parents as it is for kids. But it should be multiple age-appropriate conversations throughout the stages of childhood and into young adulthood.

The goal is to normalize sexual education when kids are young, so talking about it is less intense when kids are older and there’s more at stake. This also lets your youth know that it’s OK to talk with you about sex whenever they have questions or concerns.

#2: Breaking the Ice.

One of the most difficult tasks of having the talk is often how to bring it up. It’s best to always search for opportunities to communicate about sex because once again, our goal is to create an environment where youth feel comfortable to communicate openly about sex.

Look for everyday opportunities to bring up the discussion, such as watching a TV show, a new music or Tik Tok video that discusses sexual behavior or even bring up someone you know who has recently become pregnant. Sometimes being alone in the car or having your youth help you with a chore offers the best opportunities to talk.

#3: Be Honest.

You can tell your youth that you also feel uncomfortable or awkward talking about sex but explain that it’s important to keep talking. Do your research and give truthful, useful, and accurate information. Be prepared to answer tough questions about common topics and know how to respond in a non-judgmental way.

It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers, offer to look them up together. It can also be helpful to know the resources in your community such as the local health clinic in your neighborhood.

#4: Try to See it From Your Youth’s Point of View.

Don’t lecture your youth or rely on scare tactics to discourage sexual activity. Instead, listen carefully and listen more than you speak. Try to understand your youth’s concerns, pressures, or other things they may be facing. Our goal is to empower our youth with knowledge to make smart decisions as we know fear-based education is not useful.

#5: Respond to Behavior.

If your youth becomes sexually active, whether you think they are ready or not, it’s more important than ever to keep the conversation going. Be direct with your feelings. Remind your youth that you expect them to take sex and the associated responsibilities seriously.

Discuss means of protection to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies and how they can access safe sex supplies such as condoms or Birth Control options. It’s also important to set and enforce boundaries, such as curfews and rules about visits from friends of the opposite sex.

#6: It’s Not Just About the Facts.

Your youth needs accurate information about sex, but it’s just as important to talk about feelings, attitudes, and values. With your support, your youth can be prepared to become a sexually responsible adult.